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The Funniest, Smartest, Most Sarcastic Tweets From The Fifth Democratic Debate

Don’t worry if you begged off of watching the latest Democratic slogan-fest, we’ve got the best tweets of the night to tell the story quicker and more entertainingly.


Last night, Democrats gathered in Georgia—a state they pretend to have won in 2018—to listen to their presidential candidates debate for the fifth time. So, everyone who watched impeachment hearings all day: are you ready for 2 hours of minor but emphatic disagreement? Don’t worry if you begged off, we’ve got the best tweets of the night to tell the story.

Impeach Him? I Barely Know Him?

The field was slightly smaller this time as we said good bye to Robert O’Rourke and Julian Castro, leaving just (!) ten contenders on the stage. Facing them were four MSNBC moderators—all of them female, in an attempt to distract from their parent network’s MeToo problems.

We began with a question sure to spark conversation: impeachment. Long story short: they’re all for it.

Elizabeth Warren tried to make it more interesting by criticizing an old bipartisan habit.

Tom Steyer tried not to look disappointed, as did others.

The rest struggled to say something interesting about a topic that everyone in the room thought the same thing about.

Pete Buttigeig waxed poetic.

Kamala Harris fell back on her old material.

Joe Biden got a mite bewildered.

The Taxman

Next, Warren brought out her favorite unconstitutional idea: the federal wealth tax. She got a little confused about the numbers, but the point was clear: you got it, she wants it.

Cory Booker questioned the concept.

(He’s right.)

Fixing That Awful Obamacare

The debate then shifted, as all Democratic debates must, to the subject of health care. Obamacare? Old and busted. The new hotness is FULL SOCIALISM.

They moved on mercifully quickly to a new topic: how much Tulsi Gabbard doesn’t like Hillary Clinton.

Harris jumped in, not so much to defend Clinton, but for revenge over the time Tulsi killed her campaign back in August.

Gabbard would have none of it.

Half an hour in, Andrew Yang got to talk and was refreshingly normal.

Mayor Pete

Buttigieg had been rising in the polls, leading many pundits to assume he would come under attack by the other candidates. Yet they were strangely reticent, so he was forced to attack himself.

Amy Klobuchar insisted that she was actually the candidate of the people—and did you know girls can do anything?!?

Biden agreed with her, but not exactly.

Lock Him Up?

Rachel Maddow asked the candidates whether their supporters should chant “Lock him up” about the president the way Trump did about Hillary in 2016. Their answer: no, but really yeah.

They also discussed Trump’s Twitter account.

Kitchen Table Issues

They talked about child care—and how the government should pay for it.

They talked about housing—and how the government should pay for it.

They talked about the environment—and how the government should fix that. Also: Tom Steyer is a secret coal baron?

Bernie refused to answer the question, but agreed that rich people should go to jail.

The Rest of the World

Foreign policy came up as time wound down.

Bernie pledged to be as wrong in the future as he was in the past.

Biden perked up a little.

Instead of a foreign policy question, Warren was asked: should more people join the military. Her answer was yes, but she made it weird.


As the evening drew to a close, the moderators varied the topics often. Gabbard got a question and took it places.

Biden said it was almost never okay to hit a woman, and that he wanted to get tough on domestic violence. Really tough.

The moderators tried to get Harris to say to Buttigieg’s face what she’d said on the stump. She declined.

Memories of Corn Pop

The moderators asked about racial justice. Warren replied with…student loan forgiveness?

Booker talked about the uneven enforcement of the drug war.

Biden said…well…

What would Corn Pop say if he could see him now?

Buttigieg took the question in a religious direction, and wandered into a seventeenth-century heresy.

They talked about abortion, but you can imagine how that went.

Are We There Yet?

The eleven o’clock hour came and went.

Buttigieg, Gabbard, and Klobuchar scuffled over foreign policy, and he held his own better than poor Kamala.

The candidates closed out the night in the age-old fashion: by telling everyone to go to their websites.

A few things were proved.

But the people were tired.

In the end, the choice was as unclear as ever.