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Poor Andrew Cuomo Struggles With Life Of Zero Intersectionality Points


‘As a New Yorker, I am a Muslim. As a New Yorker, I am Jewish. As a New Yorker, I am black. I am gay. I am disabled.’


Poor Andrew Cuomo is having a tough time rallying his base to vote for him to stay New York’s governor. For a cis-gendered white male, it’s so hard to get attention from progressives these days, especially when an actual woman is running for the same position. So Cuomo has been self-identifying as an undocumented, black, gay Jew who is also Muslim. Yes, seriously.

At a campaign event earlier this week, Cuomo told everyone that he was “undocumented,” although he and his parents were born in New York City. By definition, this makes him not-undocumented, but that hasn’t stopped Cuomo from repeating the claim!

Last year, Cuomo identified as a bunch of different groups with mega intersectionality points — a Muslim person, a black person, a woman, and a disabled person.

“As a New Yorker, I am a Muslim,” Cuomo said at a press conference last January. “As a New Yorker, I am Jewish. As a New Yorker, I am black. I am gay. I am disabled. I am a woman seeking to control her health and her choices. Because as a New Yorker, we are one community.”

He is literally none of these things. Nevertheless, Poor Wittle Cuomo is trying to convince people he identifies as someone who is all of these things. Woke voters don’t wanna vote for a cis-gendered, white dude who is a legal citizen because, according to privilege theory, these things make his voice far less valuable than say, the voice of a black lesbian woman — or, even better, a racial minority trans person!

Cuomo is just a guy trying to stay relevant in the increasingly woke world he finds himself in. Who can blame him for trying to appropriate these identities? As a white man, who sits at the apex of the privilege pyramid, there’s one label he can adopt in good faith. That word is: irrelevant.