On Wednesday, the founder of Latinos for Trump took to MSNBC to proclaim that if the immigration system isn’t reformed, “You’re gonna have taco trucks on every corner.” To which one can only respond, “Is that a promise?”
Tacos are delicious and, as anyone who has experienced the joy and wonder that comes only from the mobile kitchens can attest, the best and most excellent tacos on the planet are those that come from taco trucks.
So no matter what nativists like Marco Gutierrez have to say, a booming taco truck market would be good for America in every way possible. From providing jobs and lunch to economic mobility and taco mobility, we need to do everything we can to ensure this vision becomes a reality. Here are but seven reasons we need a chicken in every pot and a taco truck on every corner.
Whether you go with carnitas, lengua, chorizo, pollo, carne asada, cochinita, barbacoa, or some combination of all the aforementioned goodness, tacos are like manna from heaven. Making them more widely available has absolutely no downsides.
2. Promote Free(er) Avocado Trade
We all love avocados, except for those of us who are wrong, but admit they are not the cheapest item at the grocery store. A taco truck on every corner would naturally lead to even higher per capita avocado consumption—and it’s already on a steady uphill climb!—so while Trump isn’t too keen on free trade, this would benefit America’s working class. Avocados are nutrient-rich and loaded with good fats and people shouldn’t have to worry that guac costs extra.
3. Economic Mobility
After I finish writing this, I’m going to head over to my favorite local taco truck, Yeyo’s. There, Rafael Rios, a man who served 15 years in the U.S. Army, including in Operation Enduring Freedom, will serve up a heaping helping of the awesomeness of my choice. Not only will it be delicious, it will be largely comprised of ingredients from the Rios family farm. So beyond offering economic freedom to the five people who staff it at any given time, this taco truck also supports the farm and all the workers who man it. When you multiply that out across every corner in America, you can do the math.
4. Burritos And Burrito Bowls
As is said, man cannot live on tacos alone. Taco trucks on every corner would be forced to compete not just on quality, but on selection. This competition is not only good for consumers’ taste buds, but also their wallets. It’s also a huge plus for those who sometimes want a little rice and beans and not the classic Mexican street taco.
Admit it: every now and again, particularly when ordering Mexican food, you feel compelled to start offering up your limited Spanish. Rather than sneer at you like the guy who runs the beef bourguignon truck does when you attempt some French, the taco truck employees are always friendly and helpful, no matter how badly you mangle it. If you take your kids along, it’s that much better. It gives them a chance to start developing this critical skill at an early age.
6. Double As Neighborhood Watch
With a taco truck on every corner and their concomitant foot traffic and staff, that means you’ve got eyes and ears on the ground in every neighborhood in America. If you care about strong communities, you care about carne asada.
I mean really, why is this even a question? We’re talking about tacos here. Nutritious, delicious tacos. This is something we should all be able to agree on and which should unite us as Americans of all stripes. If you do not believe in tacos, and that they should be as widely available as possible, then there is only one obvious fact. You, sir, are a Communist, and we didn’t build this great nation so grubby pinkos like you could destroy it.
With that, it’s time for a late lunch. God bless America; God bless tacos and the patriotic men and women who serve them. Amen.