For years, women have bought the lie from pop culture, celebrities, and even ads on college campuses that freezing their eggs and using a third party to fertilize them later is “empowering” and that delaying or even eliminating marriage is best, despite the personal and generational repercussions it brings. The latest trend of embryo freezing between unmarried couples also buys the feminist lie that parenthood is oppression unless it’s on your terms — but it comes with serious consequences.
In a disturbing new article, The Cut examines the lives of several women in the later stages of their reproductive lifespan who became so desperate for motherhood and a sign of commitment from their boyfriends that they created embryos with men they weren’t married to.
The article is primarily aimed at condemning the Alabama Supreme Court’s embryo ruling by claiming it will interfere with women’s ability to destroy embryos they’ve created with an ex. The Cut even quotes a Georgetown University professor who claimed without evidence that “the next step in this kind of logic” is forced implantation of these embryos.
In reality, The Cut ends up proving that allowing anyone who can pay to take part in the free-for-all that is the American assisted reproductive technology industry does far more harm than good.
First Comes Love, Then Comes … Outsourced Reproduction?
The article begins with the story of Jennifer, who decided at the behest of her boyfriend to combine DNA and create life. Instead of committing to marriage, the couple committed to spending $20,000 to undergo IVF and freeze the embryos that resulted.
Shortly after starting the painful, pricey, and sometimes traumatizing procedure to prep her body for an egg harvest, Jennifer discovered her boyfriend was cheating on her. At 29 years old, confused by cultural messaging on feminism and sex, Jennifer decided her biological clock was more important than her future baby daddy’s infidelity, so she continued with the solicitation of 20 embryos using her eggs and his sperm.
Two years into their chaotic and expensive path to parenthood, the couple split for good and their nearly two dozen unborn babies were sentenced to death, a small step down from the indefinite cryopreservation they would have faced if Jennifer and her ex chose to keep them around.
“This whole trend of embryo freezing as an extension and a stand-in for commitment f-cking needs to stop,” Jennifer remarked to The Cut, noting that the experience put her through “the seven stages of grief.”
Jennifer is right, but as the end of the article suggests, she clearly hasn’t learned her lesson.
“Yet a year after her breakup, Jennifer has selected a diamond and is finalizing her engagement ring, preparing to marry her new boyfriend. But first they are freezing embryos,” The Cut story concludes.
Baby Blues
IVF and embryo freezing between unmarried parties is trendy, often modeled by celebrities like Paris Hilton. But in the end, it’s a dangerous and unethical arrangement — especially for the unborn children inevitably created and destroyed by the procedure.
Outsourcing reproduction not only leaves women like Jennifer heartbroken when they split from their boyfriends, but it also causes immense pain and often death to the innocent children who were manufactured in a lab to satisfy adult desires. More often than not, in cases of the breakup or divorce of couples who created embryos together, the unborn children are litigated for years only to be tossed away later.
Even if women like Jennifer decided to implant some of their already-created embryos and raise children as single parents, their kids would be at a scientifically proven physical, emotional, and educational disadvantage compared to their peers who are conceived and raised by their married biological parents. Children born into fatherless homes specifically are less likely to excel in school or even graduate.
It’s backward to commit to spending thousands of dollars creating life in a lab instead of committing to marriage. Especially when a conventional excuse often used by couples who decide to cohabitate or naturally conceive children together before marriage is that they are “saving money.” Yet that’s the exact lie feminism sold to women. And it’s the exact lie our culture bought.
What’s even more backward is that there is a global, multibillion-dollar industry that will continue to dole out embryo custody battles and death to anyone eager and willing to pay for them. Even The Cut acknowledges that, in most cases, the buyers will not be educated on the legal and ethical minefield of choices they will face in the event of a breakup, divorce, or other hangup.
