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Best Tweets Of The First Night Of The Second Round Of Democratic Debates

Does holding the debates in red states suggest the party leaders wanted to reach out to moderates to build a broader coalition? If so, it didn’t happen.

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The Democrats launched their second round of debates last night with the first of two ten-candidate events live from Detroit and broadcast on CNN. Does their determination to hold the debates in red states suggest that the party leaders wanted to reach out to moderates and dissatisfied conservatives in order to build a broader coalition?

Perhaps. Did they do that? Don’t be silly. In case you had something—anything!—else to do, we’ve collected the best tweets of the night so you can get caught up on the insanity.

It Begins…Eventually

Even the candidates who weren’t participating knew this was going to be a long night.


CNN started their hype machine, because apparently they think this is Monday Night Football for nerds.


After introductions and commercials, the beginning of the actual debate neared.


But first, opening statements, if only to remind us who some of these people are. They started with the newcomer, Steve Bullock of Montana.


Marianne Williamson said some things.


Relatively normal guy John Delaney came out swinging against the two big bolshies in the room, Bernie Sanders and Elizabeth Warren.


That got the ball rolling as the night shaped up to be a battle between the left-wing and the far left-wing, with the two New England socialists coming under heavy attack from a bunch of people polling at 1% or less.


It dragged on for a while.


Yelling About Math

When the questions at last began, the moderators directed the conversation to health care. Bernie went straight to ALL CAPS OLD MAN RANT, as usual.


Delaney’s comments demonstrated his considerable expertise on the matter. Nobody liked that.


Warren tried to jump in, but it was awkward.


When that discussion finished, the kids table reprised it.


It continued from there, as the moderators let the candidates differentiate themselves on an important matter of policy.


If You Catch Me At The Border

Next came immigration. The candidates tried to explain just exactly how open they wanted America’s borders to be. The consensus: pretty darn open.


Warren and Sanders were actually far apart on this, unusually. The discussion ended in time for a commercial.


Pick Me A Winner

After the break, the candidates talked about whether any of them could beat Trump.


O’Rourke pushed the idea that if he can lose in Texas, he can lose anywhere!


Even more impressive: he managed to say it in English! The polling on last debate’s bilingualism must have been muy mal, because no one even tried it this time.


Delaney argues the candidates should not promise things they can’t deliver. The mob is unimpressed. Warren suggests promising EVERYTHING. The crowd goes wild!


Guns, Sun, and (No) Fun

On the topic of guns, the candidates were more united.


Climate change also came up, including the amount of hot air coming out of Sanders’s mouth.


Twirling Toward Victory

Williamson used her inside voice and got some of the best applause of the night for her discussion of the environment and racism. She continue to actively oppose the idea of having a plan for things, seeking instead to dispel evil forces through…something. The crowd loved it.


40 Acres And A Carbon-Neutral Mule

That led naturally to a discussion of race, in which the candidates tried their best to out-woke each other.


Buttigieg got weird.


Williamson brought up General Sherman.


NAFTER

The topics came more quickly as the end mercifully neared. On trade, the candidates divided between free traders—led by Delaney and O’Rourke—and those who are closer to Trump’s pro-tariff policy—Warren, Sanders, and Ryan.


On taxes, Delaney pointed out the constitutional and practical issues with Warren’s proposed wealth tax. She replied that she really, really wants his money.


The debate dragged on into the night. They talked of nuclear policy, the candidates’ ages, and assorted other topics. It was a lot.


Finally, it ended, but moderator Jake Tapper had some sobering words for us all.