Donald Trump Thinks Ted Cruz’s Father Killed JFK, And In No Way Does That Make Him A Crazy Person

Donald Trump Thinks Ted Cruz’s Father Killed JFK, And In No Way Does That Make Him A Crazy Person

Donald Trump will Make Insane Conspiracy Theories Great Again.

In an interview with Fox News on Tuesday morning, Republican presidential candidate intimated that Ted Cruz’s father was involved in the plot to assassinate President John F. Kennedy in 1963. Trump then expressed displeasure that nobody in the media was talking about how Ted Cruz’s dad helped kill JFK:

“His father was with Lee Harvey Oswald prior to Oswald’s being — you know, shot. I mean, the whole thing is ridiculous,” Trump said Tuesday during a phone interview with Fox News. “What is this, right prior to his being shot, and nobody even brings it up. They don’t even talk about that. That was reported, and nobody talks about it.”

The source of Trump’s outlandish claim? You guessed it: the National Enquirer:

The ENQUIRER has the disturbing photographic evidence that was buried in secret U.S. government files, with Rafael Cruz, now 77, palling around with the man who murdered America’s 35th president!

Top D.C. insiders have confirmed to The ENQUIRER that “the man in the photograph is indeed Rafael!”

The investigation into the mystery man who might very well be Rafael Cruz provides a potentially chilling look at the family history of the Republican presidential candidate.

The ENQUIRER has the full story behind the bizarre meeting between Rafael Cruz and Oswald as they worked together for one of JFK’s most dangerous enemies!

WAKE UP SHEEPLE! CONNECT THE DOTS!

It’s all so obvious. A “mystery man” who “might” be Ted Cruz’s dad (or might not) is in the background of a photo with the guy who might’ve killed JFK (or might not have, since we’re all dabbling in conspiracy theories now)? Seems pretty solid. Definitely solid and important enough for a presidential candidate in 2016 to weigh in on. ISIS? Meh. Genocide against Christians? Meh. What America hungers for right now is a leader who will, in a random, stream-of-consciousness rant based entirely on the testimony of a supermarket tabloid, accuse the parents of rival candidates of helping to murder a U.S. president over 50 years ago.

The joke in 2015 about Donald Trump’s chronic verbal diarrhea was that his candidacy is pretty much what would happen if you gave a YouTube commenter $10 million and told him to run for president. The 2016 reality is that Trump is more of an Infowars commenter whose racist slumlord father left him a bunch of money in the hopes that he might one day use that money to buy something that would make his father love him:

Michael Kruse: I’d like to start talking about Donald by talking about Fred Sr. and going back to the very beginning, to Jamaica Estates [the Queens neighborhood where Donald grew up]. What do people need to know? What should we know about Donald because of his father, because of that relationship?

Harry Hurt III: I ran into Fred at Coney Island, with his secretary-mistress, one day, and he usually went to a place called Gargiulo’s down in that area. But that was closed that day, and so I was with my researcher and we tailed them over to the original Nathan’s hot dog stand. Donald was flying somewhere at the time, and we overheard Fred wipe some mustard off his lip, like this here, and he said, “I hope his plane crashes.” And I looked at my researcher, and I said, “Did you hear what I just heard?” He said, “Yes, I did.” I said, “Well, that’s my man. That’s Fred. The apple don’t fall far from the tree.”

So there we have 2016 in a nutshell: the son of a man who wanted his son killed in a plane crash thinks the son of the man who helped kill JFK is trying to steal the election from him. Congratulations, America. You did this.

Sean Davis is the co-founder of The Federalist.
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