Here’s What An Honest Jazz Song About Hillary Clinton Sounds Like

Here’s What An Honest Jazz Song About Hillary Clinton Sounds Like

The Federalist created our own rendition of a Hillary Clinton jazz tribute, lies and shrieks included.
D.C. McAllister
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A famous jazz pianist has been so inspired by Hillary Clinton’s “quiet intensity and relentless purpose” that he recorded a song in her honor.

Marcus Roberts says he first heard Clinton speak back in 1992 when allegations of Bill’s infidelity were flying, and he was impressed by her loyalty. In an interview on “60 Minutes,” she admitted her marriage wasn’t perfect but said she was going to stick by her man because she loved and respected him after all they’d been through together. (Never mind the long list of women he seduced, threatened, and abused. Hillary took care of that “bimbo problem” because, you know, she loves her man.)

“People generally don’t admit to flaws, so I liked her candor,” Roberts said in an interview with Newsweek. “She made me laugh out loud.”

The Opposite of Cool Stability

The thought of Hillary actually admitting her flaws makes a lot of us laugh out loud. But, Roberts was taken with her (artists are just so fleeceable, aren’t they?), so last fall he began writing a song that would capture her personality in the form of an instrumental jazz composition.

Roberts titled the piece “It’s My Turn” (you can listen to it here). He says it’s punchy and “full of changes,” just like Clinton.

“All those meter and key changes symbolize constant evolution, and Hillary has certainly evolved from her early days in Arkansas,” Roberts says. “The song has a cool stability to it, reflecting her ability to change with time while maintaining her own quiet intensity and relentless purpose.”

Cool stability. Hmmm. Not exactly the words that come to mind when I think of Clinton. Given that, Roberts’ song needs a revision. Here’s our musical dedication to Hillary, appropriately titled “It’s NOT My Turn.”

Roberts told Newsweek he originally wanted to title the song, “I Guess I’m Just Overqualified.” Really? Even though her biggest shills can’t name any real accomplishments in her 20-year political career?

Hillary’s Greatest Hits of Lies and Deceptions

It seems Clinton supporters like Roberts need a little dose of reality. Let’s take a look at the top lies:

1.Those pesky emails. Clinton claimed her private email server was in “accordance with the rules and regulations in effect.” Not so much. A federal judge said she violated government policy in the storage of State Department messages, putting our national security at risk. Thanks for that, Hill. I’m sure Vladimir Putin will send you a thank-you note. Of course, she claims she didn’t handle any classified information, but we now know that’s a bunch of bull. Some of the emails were highly classified, and she knew they were at the time.

The fact that she lied not only to the American people but to the grieving families of the four men lost in the attack is what’s really disgusting.

2.“What does it matter, anyway?” This is probably one of the worst—Clinton blaming Benghazi on a “disgusting video” when we know from State Department documents that Clinton knew it was an actual terrorist attack that had nothing to do with any video. The fact that she lied not only to the American people but to the grieving families of the four men lost in the attack is what’s really disgusting. In case you missed it, here’s Jim Jordan ripping into her for lying. Good stuff.

And just because it’s so awesome, here’s Rand Paul’s classic takedown of Clinton over Benghazi and arming rebels in Syria. For those of you who think Clinton will have a gentler, kinder approach to foreign policy because she’s a woman, think again. She has bigger cojones than most dudes—and she likes “secret wars.”

3. Chelsea Clinton was jogging around the World Trade Center on 9/11. Nope. she was nestled safely in her New York apartment during the attack. Pathetic play on sympathy. The worst.

4. “I’m a progressive. But I’m a progressive who likes to get things done…how to find common ground, and I have proved that in every position that I’ve had, even dealing with Republicans who never had a good word to say about me, honestly.” Not even remotely true. The fact is when she was a senator for New York, Clinton had ZERO legislation with her name on it. Huff Post does a great job ‘splaining this one in “The Curious Myth of Hillary Clinton’s Senate Effectiveness.”

Clinton lied about making a run for it in Bosnia. A video shows her walking quite peacefully across the tarmac, smiling and greeting people.

4. She faced sniper fire when she landed in Bosnia. This whopper would be hilarious if it didn’t mock all of our men and women who have actually faced real sniper fire. Clinton lied about making a run for it in Bosnia (cue M*A*S*H theme song). A video shows her walking quite peacefully across the tarmac, smiling and greeting people.

5. Clinton says she was “instrumental” in the Northern Ireland peace process. Funny, because British negotiators tell a different story, saying, “Hillary Clinton was totally invisible at the actual negotiations.” Maybe she was wearing Harry Potter’s cloak.

6. “We’re dead broke.” Clinton tried to get in touch with the common folk with this doozy about her and Bill, but even left-wing media outlets weren’t buying it.

7. Her dying-fish flip-flopping on same-sex marriage. Her “evolution” is just fun to watch. Anderson Cooper didn’t think much of it and went for the jugular: “Even some Democrats believe you change your positions based on political expediency. You were against same-sex marriage. Now you’re for it. You defended President Obama’s immigration policies. Now you say they’re too harsh. You supported his trade deal dozen of times… Now, suddenly, last week, you’re against it. Will you say anything to get elected?” Ouch.

Just When You Thought We Were Done

Here’s more on Clinton’s fibs, obfuscations, and lies—for your entertainment. She has admitted some, but there’s a whole host of lies she won’t confess to (from Real Clear Politics).

  • She didn’t know about the FALN pardons.
  • She didn’t know that her brothers were being paid to get pardons that Clinton granted.
  • Taking the White House gifts was a clerical error.
  • She didn’t know that her staff would fire the travel office staff after she told them to do so.
  • She didn’t know that the Peter Paul fundraiser in Hollywood in 2000 cost $700,000 more than she reported it had.
  • She opposed NAFTA at the time.
  • She was instrumental in the Irish peace process.
  • She urged Bill to intervene in Rwanda.
  • She played a role in the ’90s economic recovery.
  • The billing records showed up on their own.
  • She thought Bill was innocent when the Monica scandal broke.
  • She was always a Yankees fan.
  • She had nothing to do with the New Square Hasidic pardons (after they voted for her 1,400-12 and she attended a meeting at the White House about the pardons).
  • She negotiated for the release of refugees in Macedonia (who were released the day before she got there).

With a record like that, is it any wonder that we suspect her of being less than honest and straightforward?

If you’re going to listen to some slow jazz dedicated to Hillary Clinton, skip Roberts’ version and play “It’s NOT My Turn.” It’s a lot more true to form.

Denise C. McAllister is a journalist based in Charlotte, North Carolina, and a senior contributor to The Federalist. Follow her on Twitter @McAllisterDen.
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